Hello Bellas! Now let’s talk big Nigerian parties, AKA Owambe. We all know Nigerians love to celebrate, but did you know that with the fun memorable moments, it also comes with a lot of struggle and hassle? We’ve put together for your own entertainment epic drama seen at Nigerian parties.
STRICTLY BY INVITATION
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s only at Nigerian parties I know this statement is never true. No matter the calibre of people organizing the party, there is always an exemption. When the IV says “strictly by IV”, it’s simply for decoration. Nigerian attendees can’t go to parties alone. Someone invites their friend, who invites another friend, who also invites another friend….. The shocking part is this group of people would not even know the person organizing the party, they would now pick another asoebi of their own. Ahn Ahn!!! Trust me when they get to the venue and the bouncer stops them from coming in……..AHHH!!! That’s what we call See Gobe!! And then the drama unfolds. That is why people now fix their event dates on a weekday to avoid a crowd.
NO ASOEBI NO SEMO
Yoruba people would say “Ora Ankara Oje semo” which means No AsoEbi No food. This is the number one rule you must follow when you decide to go for a Nigerian PARTY… Yes!! It’s a rule because once you decide not to wear the asoebi picked for an event you are up for a mini embarrassment. You can opt for the asoebi as a scarf or turban which makes it better than not wearing any at all. If your tailor disappoints (typical Nigerian tailor) just hold the fabric and put it on the table so they would know you bought it. Lmao. It is that serious. Because the way food and drinks would pass you by ehn; you would be surprised. If you’re lucky enough to get food, you would definitely not get souvenirs. In the rule book of Nigerian parties, NO 1 rule is “BUY ASOEBI”. But at the end please cut your coat according to your material, your presence is more important.
GATECRASHERS AKA MOGBO MO YA
They show up with their own asoebi, but feel very welcome even though they don’t blend in. They came for a good time, and they don’t care who looks at them funny.
THE SEATS ARE FOREVER TAKEN
This can be the most frustrating line you would hear at a party…. Ahn Ahn. Usually, most guests come late for parties because they follow African time, but this is a dangerous game. Why? Once you get to an owambe late, it is official, you would stand for a while because the seats are always taken. You will see several empty chairs but they are taken, it makes us wonder if the guests sitting are invisible. Some people would go as far as keeping their makeup purse, earrings, scarf even shoe just to prove that someone is sitting there. It can be so frustrating. The worst part is if you’re dealing with old people, you better just accept your fate because they would never release the seats.
THE FASHION POLICE
This has to be one the most hilarious things you witness at Nigerian parties. Mainly found around a group of elderly women; their facial expressions say it all. If the wearer catches a glimpse of their look we know it’ll be nothing but uncomfortable for them. If you know you know!
It is very important to always eat before going for any owambe. Again, if you love yourself do not leave your house on an empty stomach especially when you’re already late. Because in Nigerian parties, especially weddings. Their anthem is, “Food has finished” or “There is no meat but we have jollof rice”. It happens most of the time, food always runs out. This is actually due to a different scenario. We’ve seen situations where guests are always on a lookout for waiters or ushers to help get food and it can be heartbreaking to see the looks on their faces.
The sad part is if you bought an expensive asoebi, went all out with your style and makeup and you don’t eat from home…. Ahhhh!!! That’s a terrible experience. The only thing that works is if you are only attending and taking pictures for the Gram with no concern for food whatsoever. Then you are good to go!
THE MONEY PICKERS
It’s easy to spot the money pickers at every Nigerian party. Its safe to say they invented the “Komole” move as a strategy for picking crispy new notes with ease. At the end of the day, they get an indirect discount for all they’ve spent for the party.
After spending all my money just to look good at your party, you would not give me a souvenir? This is the epitome of war at parties. This is where the struggle begins. There is no limit to what can be shared at Nigerian parties. Plastic, soap, oil, even bread (no jokes!! we’ve seen guests who collected bread at a party before) and most Nigerians are ready to have it all and even more. Souvenirs are a BIG DEAL at parties, the way guests fight over them, you would think they’re sharing American Visa and money altogether.
You’re not a true Nigerian if you haven’t seen any of the above “dramas” go down at a Nigerian party.
Share your experiences! We’d love to laugh (and cry) with you too.
Written by Damilola Kasumu, Editing and Memes by Damien Eze.